Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i drank out of a bidet.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
