VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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