It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
