I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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