she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
