? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
