My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
