Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
