i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You made out with two different species that night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
