at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
