perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
