i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
