This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize