Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize