I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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