She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
