So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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