i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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