Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
