i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
