Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
