I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
