I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
