I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
