Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
