Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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