Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
