I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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