Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
