I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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