i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
