if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish they made helmets for livers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
