From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
