so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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