We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
