who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think my tv is drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
