whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize