brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
