i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
