I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
