Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
