Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
