cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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