It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Floor bacon is actually really good
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
