Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
