you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
