I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
