Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I got inside last night via doggy door
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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