You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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