Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
