I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Drake has all the answers
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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