Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
