it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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