worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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