girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
