I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
this is an emotional support booty call
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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