A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
