I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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