yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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