U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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