just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
