The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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