its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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