What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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