He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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