Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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