I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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