Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
