Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
