High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
