Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
