I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So vagazzling was a success
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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