More tranny stories later!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
