epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
